Goodbye To My Wolf
by ptrtool1999
Summary: Six days before her wedding to Edward, Bella visits the reservation to serve a farewell feast to the Pack. However,, the unexpected return of Jacob gives Bella the chance to tell her Wolf a final goodbye... Short. REPOSTED.
1. Chapter 1

**A Goodbye To My Wolf**

**Pairing : Jacob/Bella**

**Rating : M - warning – there be lemons here!  
**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**A/N : I received a few requests for more citrus-based stories, but I am busy with Branded and r/l. But I do have a bunch of older stories sitting on my hard drive with different pairings (Edward/OC, Edward/Bella, Bella/Jacob, Bella /Paul, and a few others). Here is one of my oldest, my first Bella/Jacob story, very lemony, but also loving and a bit angtsy. Yes, it's been done before, in many different ways, but so what! :)**

_Prelude:_

_Its five days before Bella's wedding, and Edward has gone on an overnight hunting trip with his brothers. Bella is accompanying Charlie to the reservation, where she and Emily are cooking a feast for the boys in the Pack. Bella will say her farewells to Emily and thank Sam and the Pack for all their help._

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**BPOV**

"Bells? You coming?" I heard Charlie shout from outside.

I hustled the containers with the pies and cakes I had baked for the Pack into a neat pile, carrying them carefully out of the house. Charlie saw me struggling with the over-sized bundle, and helped me get the four foil trays settled in the backseat of the cruiser.

It was a beautiful, sunny day, and Edward had gone hunting with his family. Alice knew I was taking the trip to La Push with Charlie, so there would be no freak-outs when my future suddenly vanished from her sight.

I watched the trees roll by as we made our way down route 110, which near town was also called 'La Push Road'. I was thinking how different my life was soon going to become, about the changes I was about to experience. This familiar place - the place I had come to call home - would soon be off-limits to me, as I would be a vampire and party to a treaty-violation. I knew that the Cullen's and I wouldn't return this way for at least fifty years, and that I would probably never set-foot on the reservation again.

The thought not only saddened me, but scared me, and I felt a bubble of fear rising in my throat. I pushed it down savagely.

This had happened a lot to me in the past weeks. Once the constant threat of looming death at the hands' of crazed vampires was finished, I found myself able to think about my choices more carefully. And some of the thoughts made me uneasy.

When I was with Edward, there was never any doubt. It all just felt _right_. But when Alice took me away for wedding planning, or he spent time with his brothers hunting, I would start to really think about what I was giving-up. These thoughts were not enough to change my mind - not by any means - but it did make me more appreciative of what I had now, and made me regret the things I would never get to do again.

As we turned off of the 110, which continued due west, we followed the twisty La Push road onto the reservation until we reached Quileute Heights road, which led to Sam's house. As we drove by the familiar street that had become almost a second home to me last year, I choked back a sob when we passed by the turnoff to Jacob's house, and I could just make out the top of his rusty-red garage through the trees.

I missed Jacob terribly.

* * *

The afternoon was, I thought, a success. After Charlie dropped me at Sam's, before heading off to fish with Billy, Emily and I had taken out the containers from the cruiser, and added them to the large assortment of breads and cheeses she had put out onto her large wooden table.

I joined her at the stove, and we cooked happily for the next two hours, preparing pastas and meats for the Pack.

We were giving the boys a hearty thank-you feast, in appreciation of their work and sacrifice.

It was a fun-filled meal with my friends, and except for some light teasing about my upcoming nuptials, no one mentioned what was certainly a controversial topic over here: my eventual transformation. I was grateful that everyone kept that sensitive subject quiet.

After all, I sometimes needed _normal_ in my life.

I was sitting at the table, laughing with Emily over the latest pack story, as the boys were helping themselves to second and third helpings of the three layer cake and apple pies I had baked. Suddenly, conversation came to a dead stop, and I looked-up in confusion at Emily's face, and saw that she and everyone else at the table were looking at the door behind me with wide eyes.

I turned, and there, standing in the doorway with nothing but a pair of tattered shorts, was Jacob. I gasped out his name, pushing myself up from the table and crossing the room to him without even telling my feet to do so. And then he wrapped me up in his arms, crushing me to his enormous frame, and I cried out my relief at having him home.

We were soon surrounded by a welcoming and warm press of bodies, as everyone expressed their happiness at Jacob's return. There were jokes made, and some good-natured arm-punching, but Jacob never let me go, holding me close to his side. And I wasn't in any rush to leave his arms.

* * *

We spent about thirty minutes chatting with the pack, before Jacob stood and held out his hand. "Bella, come for a walk on the beach with me?"

I smiled at him, taking his hand. I turned, and said my goodbyes to everyone, and was met with smiling faces from almost everyone except for some of the younger members who didn't really know me well. I was sad, knowing that maybe I would never see them all together again, but this was muted by the happiness at having Jacob back.

As we walked outside, Jacob scooped up an old blanket from the front porch, never breaking his stride as we walked together to our spot on the beach, making mostly small talk about what I had been up-to over the past month. Gossip about Renee, and dress fittings, and my last day of work at Newton's.

He laughed when he asked me about Mike's reaction to quitting my job, chuckled quietly at some of the stories about my mom, and nodded slowly at any mention of wedding related news.

In turn, I asked him about what he had been doing, but he wasn't very clear on details. He said only that he had 'gone wolf' and that he let his instincts carry him wherever the mood would take him.

After a few minutes, we reached our tree. It was late afternoon, and the air was dry. The sun had gone behind some clouds, and the beach was mostly deserted. A few younger kids were playing down at the far end, but soon walked off with their parents and disappeared; leaving us the only people I could see.

We sat down together, our bare knees touching, and Jacob took my hand, and stared out over the ocean with a pensive look. His hair had grown longer in the last month, and was shaggy and almost reached his chin. He had beard stubble and circles under his eyes, and looked tired and worn-out.

But he was still beautiful to me. His russet colored skin shone in the afternoon light, his muscles rippling with every slight movement. He held my hand with a kind of quiet desperation, and I hated seeing him vulnerable and sad like this.

"Jake...," I started, not sure what I wanted to say. "Are you...are you OK?" I finally asked, my voice quavering with my uncertainty.

He didn't answer me at first, just continued to stare out at the water. Maybe a minute passed, before he turned to me, and a small grin played at the corner of his mouth. "I think I will be, Bella," he finally said, his dark eyes trapping me in their depths. "I told you when I saw you last, that I could let you go. And I almost have, though it's been hard. But I've had some time to get used to the idea," he said, gripping my hand a little tighter.

I smiled back at him. "I'm glad, Jake. I never, ever, wanted to hurt you."

"I know, Bella. It's like I said, though. I can't fight an eclipse." He gave me his signature smile, toothy and wide, and I felt a happy warmth spread through me.

He looked back at the ocean, his smile fading away slowly. It was like the sun going behind the clouds. I would miss that smile.

"I really have tried, Bella," he said, speaking softly, his thumb slowly caressing the hand he still held. "I almost didn't come back, as it was easier dealing with the pain as a wolf. I couldn't decide if it was worth it, if I should just stay away until you were already gone."

My heart clenched at his confession, feeling immense sadness that he thought he might be better off cutting himself away from his home, his friends, his family...just so he didn't have to face the pain that my choice caused him.

I breathed deeply, putting my other hand on his, gripping him as hard as I could. "I am glad you came back, Jake. I missed you so much, and... well, when I left you that night when you were hurt, I cried for hours, hysterically, and could not stop. Edward was questioning me all morning, asking me if I was sure I made the right choice," I finished in a whisper.

His dark eyes met mine, and I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. Jacob raised his hand, and let his thumb gently wipe away my tear, his lips turned upwards, in what I thought was a wistful smile.

"Bella," he said quietly. "Can I ask you for something?" His voice was small, and uncertain.

"Yes Jacob, what?" I asked, my voice responding to his tone. I wanted to take his pain and uncertainty away.

He looked at me for a long moment, before taking a deep breath. "Can I kiss you? One real kiss that I don't have to force on you or coerce you into giving me? One kiss, that I can remember you for after you're gone?" He was looking at me with desperate eyes, like a condemned man asking for his final request.

I was suddenly uncomfortable, and pulled my hands away from his, doubt and uncertainty clawing at me, and the warmth I had been feeling moments before vanished. In its place was a quiet desperation that surged through me, like a prisoner rattling his cage, demanding to be released.

But this part of me was locked-up, tight, and I pushed her back inside her cell. "Jacob, please, you know I can't. I've chosen, Jacob, and it's Edward," I said to him, not wanting to hurt him but needing him to understand.

But Jacob was undaunted. "I know, Bella. I do get it, I really do. I won't fight for you anymore. I just need closure, need to know what a real kiss from you would have been like." He took my hand again, holding it to his chest. "I want to be able to remember you, Bella, as the first girl I ever loved, and know that I have something of you, to keep with me when I am lonely and want to remember you as you were."

I looked-up into Jacob's deep eyes, searching for …what, exactly I was looking for, I wasn't sure. But what I saw there was that same vulnerability from before, but there was also love there, and light. His beloved eyes – the eyes of_ My_ Jacob – stared back at me with nothing but honesty.

This wasn't a trick of his, or a game anymore. I didn't see that same fire of determination I had seen a month earlier when he was trying to get me to admit I loved him and that he was the better choice. This was just an honest request from a sixteen year old boy, asking me to give something of myself to him.

As I looked at his familiar face, smiling softy at me in the lazy afternoon light, I thought about it. Would this be so wrong? If this helped him heal, then should I do it? Or would it make it worse? I wasn't sure. "Jake," I said, moving our still clasped hands down to our knees, "I think if I did this it would make it harder for you. How can I do that knowing that I might cause you more pain?" I implored, trying to pull the truth from him.

He smiled at me, a beautiful, carefree smile, free from stress and worry. "That's my Bells, always worrying about everyone else before herself," he chuckled. "No, Bella. It won't make it harder. Like I said, it will help me hold onto a little piece of you, all for myself, that I can take out and remember sometimes."

His words washed over me, completely disarming me with their honesty and need. I turned my head, looking out over the water, thinking of his request. Could I give this to him? And what about Edward? Wouldn't this be a betrayal of the worst kind? Would he hate me for doing this?

And then I realized that Edward would probably understand. He would be angry, and might want to kill Jacob, but he would forgive me for it; for giving Jacob closure, for letting him have a piece of the human Bella. Edward was getting me for eternity; shouldn't I give Jacob a piece of me to remember if it would help him to move on?

As I sat there, with Jacob's warm hand in mine, I knew I was going to give-in. Butterflies suddenly fluttered in my stomach, and I felt my cheeks heating. I remembered Jacob's last kiss, despite having tried to lock-it up in a drawer inside my heart, and the memory of it was doing strange things to my body.

I turned to face him, slowly moving my face closer to his. His eyes widened momentarily, before a dazzling smile split his face, his white teeth gleaming against the contrast of his tanned skin.

"OK, Jacob," I said, my face close enough to his that my breath washed over his lips. "Kiss me."

* * *

**A/N – Next Chapter will be RATED M. Fair warning.  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Goodbye To My Wolf**

**Rated M**

**Chapter 2**

_Previously:_

_As I sat there, with Jacob's warm hand in mine, I knew I was going to give-in. Butterflies suddenly fluttered in my stomach, and I felt my cheeks heating. I remembered Jacob's last kiss, despite having tried to lock-it up in a drawer inside my heart, and the memory of it was doing strange things to my body._

_I turned to face him, slowly moving my face closer to his. His eyes widened momentarily, before a dazzling smile split his face, his white teeth gleaming against the contrast of his tanned skin._

"_OK, Jacob," I said, my face close enough to his that my breath washed over his lips. "Kiss me."_

Jacob's eyes darted between mine, as our lips hovered close to each other. I leaned in more, kissing the corner of his mouth, a gentle, soft kiss, full of love. He didn't move, just sat very still, watching me with a goofy smile on his face. His expression made me laugh, and I kissed him again, this time on the point of his chin, and then again on the other side of his mouth.

"Are you teasing me, Bella?" Jake whispered, causing my smile to widen.

"Mmmm, maybe?" I giggled, kissing along his jaw. I was giving him small pecks along his stubbled jawline, working my way up to his ear, and then back down to his lips.

Jacob's eyes had closed now, and he was breathing deeply, and finally turned his head slightly so my next kiss landed square on his lips. He was slow, and soft, and let his lips brush against mine. Nothing like our other kisses, this one was gentle, and loving, and full of warmth.

I felt a flush in my chest, and the butterflies in my stomach kicked up a notch. I peeked my tongue out, to lightly trace the line between his lips, enjoying the taste of his skin. It was salty and warm, with faint traces of some kind of spice. Jacob's tongue slipped out from between his lips, and when it touched to mine, my breathing kicked-up a notch, and I opened my mouth, inviting him in.

Jacob pushed his tongue gently into my mouth, tasting me, twirling his tongue with mine. I was dizzy with desire, and had to remember to breathe through my nose or pass out. I was aware of his arms coming around my back, and lifting me from the tree, and then I felt fast motion.

I was dizzy with desire. Jacob kissed down my neck, and I groaned, opening my eyes at the feel of being carried swiftly. Sure enough, he had lifted me bridal style and had carried me in a loping run over to an overhanging rock that gave us total privacy from anyone who might wander down onto the beach.

Before I could question him, his lips were back on mine, and I was slowly laid down on the blanket, which he had somehow opened with one hand while supporting my body with the other. My arms tangled in his hair, and he pressed his body down lightly on me, the warmth of his skin causing a sheen of sweat to form on my hairline and upper lip.

Jacob's hands had come up to cradle my face, and then ran back along my spine, dipping lower to touch the bare skin of my back where my shirt had ridden up. The heat of his touch scorched me, sending delicious shivers of fire racing through my veins.

I pushed my own tongue deeply into his mouth, tasting him fully for the first time. I drowned in the flavor of his mouth, the tangy mix of salt and spice and Jacob. I was completely under his spell, and it took me a moment to realize that his hand had begun to unbutton my blouse.

He opened the first button, and kissed my neck and upper chest that was now exposed, and I tried to find my voice, as I felt the second, then third button open, and his mouth was now licking and kissing between my breasts. Every time I would gather my voice to ask him to stop, a new shiver would race through me and all I could do was gasp out his name.

It felt so good, and I didn't want to stop, but I knew that we had to. We were entering really dangerous ground now.

"Jacob, stop. I can't do this," I panted, pulling my face away from his hair, where it was curled as he kissed my neck and chest.

Jacob stopped his motions, and gently clasped my hands in his. "I'm sorry, Bella. I just am so in love with you, and I want a part of you that I can always keep to remember. All I want to do is love you a little, Bella. Is that so wrong?" Jake asked, his eyes burning into mine.

I leaned up on my elbows, pulling myself out from under his prone body. "I can't do that to Edward, Jake. It would be so wrong, he would never be able to forgive me," I said, my breathing not yet returned to normal. "He's a good person, Jake. He doesn't deserve this," I said, now calm and holding my almost fully unbuttoned blouse closed.

Jacob looked at me, and cocked his head slightly. "I know he is good, Bella. But he doesn't need to know. You don't ever have to tell him if you don't want," Jacob explained, trying to convince me. "This would be for me, and for you, and for our love. What better way could we have than this to say goodbye?"

"It would be wrong, Jacob. Edward and I are equals in this, neither of us have ever been with anyone else like that," I said, sitting up fully. "There are so few things I can give him, Jacob, so it's important to me that I can give him this," I begged him with my eyes and voice to understand. This was not about my not loving Jacob; this was only about my not wanting to hurt Edward.

Jacob looked at me in surprise though, and then looked away thoughtfully. After a minute, in a quiet voice, he said, "So you have never been with anyone before? Not even Edward?"

I was embarrassed by the sudden turn in the discussion, and my cheeks flamed red. Even though I had brought this up, I was uncomfortable talking about it. But this was Jake, my best friend, and I wanted to make him understand. "No, Jake. We have never done that together, or with anyone before. Edward always said it was too dangerous for him and I, and he wanted to wait until I was changed. But I want to, while I am still human, and I finally got him to agree."

Jacob's jaw clenched for a moment, and I felt his grip on my hands tighten up. "So, let me get this straight: Edward thinks it's too dangerous, but is going through with it anyway?"

I nodded, and Jacob's hands removed one of his hands, clenching it into a fist. "Why don't you listen to him, Bella? Why don't you wait until he bites you?" he asked, trying to hold in his frustration with me.

I grew flustered, as I had already spent so much energy on this argument with Edward. Now here I was, explaining myself to Jake. Did no one understand? I turned to face the ocean, closing my eyes and trying to settle myself.

I took a deep breath, gaining control of my emotions, before turning back to him. I tried to explain it to him calmly. "Everyone tells me newborn vampires are…well, hard to control. That all they think about is blood." I watched him grimace at this, but I kept on. "And so, if that is true, then I won't really be _me _for who knows how long. And so when Edward asked me what human experiences I couldn't live without, I knew that this was something I had to do before my change. While I am still me, and don't want blood above everything else. I want this one human experience, and then I will make the change and spent eternity with him."

Jacob sat thoughtfully, a bronzed giant looking out at the distant ocean, the sounds of the crashing waves and the gulls echoing off the rocks above us. Several minutes went by in silence, and I let myself think about all my decisions, my choices, when Jacob suddenly broke the silence.

"Use me, then Bella. Have your human experience, but with me. There will be no risk to you, and I won't have to treat you like the porcelain doll he treats you as," he said, turning back to me with dark eyes. "And then, I will say goodbye to you, and you can go with Edward knowing that you can wait until you are changed and it's safe for you." His eyes bored into mine, and again I saw the honesty and the love there.

Jake stood up, pulling the edges of the blanket out to make it square, and then sat down beside me at the edge of it, looking out towards the sea. He glanced at me once, gave me a smile, and then draped his hands over his crossed knees, and waited peacefully. The sound of his breathing was soothing, and I thought about everything he had said.

"Jacob, wouldn't it cause you so much more pain if we did this? Won't I be doing more damage to you?" I finally asked, asking him to help me, trying to understand. My eyes were open, looking into his, willing him to pluck the truth from his soul.

He smiled ruefully, shaking his head back and forth. "No, Bella. I know you are going to be with him for eternity. I get that, I really do. It's like fate or something with you two, or…or …like imprinting." he said, looking down and shaking his head sadly. I know Jacob had wished he had imprinted on me, but I don't think it was possible to imprint on someone whose heart belonged completely to someone else. Wouldn't that destroy the wolf?

Jacob looked back up at me, trapping me with the depth of his brown eyes. "If we do this, Bella, it's for me and for closure. I love you Bella Swan, and I want to have a real memory of you to keep with me. A memory of you as you are now – soft, and warm, and human. Not a cold statue that makes my nose burn. He will have a million moments with you, I just want one. I am asking for one, Bella. I am asking you to make love to me, and then you can say goodbye to your Wolf," he finished, smiling his toothy smile that always made me feel warm.

As I started to answer, he held up his hand: he wasn't finished. "And, think about it Bella – this way you don't have to do something as risky as being with Edward before you are changed. What if you bleed your first time? Or if he breaks your wrist, or something else? Can you imagine what he will do if he hurts you, Bella? Isn't that what he is most afraid of in the whole world? Why put yourselves in that position? " he asked earnestly. I laughed inwardly at that; the men in my life, always trying to keep me safe, often from myself.

And I did think about what he said. Deeply. For many minutes, I stared out at the ocean, the thoughts and the doubts and the what if's running through my mind. What would Edward do if he hurt me? I didn't think he would leave again, no not that. But if he hurt me while trying to make love to me, I knew it would destroy him. It might taint everything between us for a long time, especially as it would be on our honeymoon.

Even though I didn't fear the risk of blood – my clumsiness had taken care of my hymen by the time I was twelve years old, I knew that Edward might bruise me easily, without even knowing. Was the risk worth it?

I realized, then, that Jacob was right about one thing at least. Asking this of Edward was reckless, and stupid. I was risking our future happiness for my own selfish wants. How did I not realize this before? Edward struggled just to not drink me dry. Now he had to worry about not breaking me in the throes of passion, during an experience that was supposed to bring pleasure to us both. How could he enjoy it if he was worrying the whole time? How much could one vampire be expected to take?

I realized that I could not ask this of Edward. It was too selfish of me.

But that didn't answer the question if I should do this with Jacob. Yes, I wanted this experience, I wanted it badly. But I wanted it with Edward. Didn't I? Would I be willing to use Jacob as his stand-in? Betray Edward in the worst way, to satisfy my human hormones? Edward waited 80 years for me; couldn't I wait the year or so after my change for him?

I knew I probably could.

But then, what of Jacob? I know he was concerned about my welfare, I didn't doubt that. But I also knew that he was using the 'danger' of me being with Edward to his advantage, that he wasn't exactly an impartial observer.

But then, I thought, so what? Jake loved me. He wanted to make love to me, to have a piece of me to hold onto for the rest of his life. Would it be so bad to give in to him?

I looked at him then, his tanned skin and flowing muscles, sitting like a panther on the blanket next to me. He was so beautiful, and so warm, and had saved me so many times and in so many ways. My biggest fear was that I would do more damage to him, but he insisted it would give him closure.

Was I right to doubt him? Did I like when he doubted my feelings for Edward, or when anyone tried to tell me what was right or best for me? If I made this judgment for him, would I not be guilty of the same thing?

I thought about Edward then, and what he would think of this. He would be furious, and feel betrayed, no doubt. But then, he also might understand it at some level. He was always going on about my recklessness, and I knew he greatly feared what might happen to me on the honeymoon.

Wasn't this solution the best for everyone?

I knew then that I had my answer. I could do this, for Jacob, and for me. I would not force Edward to make love to me before he changed me. I would marry him with no strings attached, and not force a honeymoon on him. I would make love to Jacob, and say goodbye to my Wolf, and then join Edward in matrimony and eternity.

I moved closer to Jacob, and took his hand. He was surprised, as I hadn't moved or spoken in quite some time. He looked at me, his eyes darting back and forth between mine, and he knew my answer when he saw my cheeks blush red and I raised his hand, kissing it gently, a single nod of my head confirming my answer. A slow smile spread over his face then, and I knew it was going to be all right.

Jacob slowly leaned into me again, his mouth meeting mine. But this time, there was hunger in his kiss, and his hands came up to grip me and pull me into his hot embrace. He knew that there would be no stopping now, that I was surrendering myself to him.

Desire immediately flooded me as he gripped me tighter and his tongue wrapped with mine. His hands finished with the last button of my blouse, and he ran a single finger down the centerline of my chest, to my bellybutton, sending my blood ablaze. He pushed the blouse off my shoulders, running his hands down my bare arms and then back up to my neck, leaving chills in their path.

My heart was pounding, as my own hands gripped him to me, and his kisses trailed down my breastbone, under the cups of my bra, and back up to my chin. Everywhere he touched his lips, fire danced on my skin.

Then he reached down behind me and unfastened my bra strap, gently pulling the garment away. My heaving breasts were bare to his hungry gaze, and he gently kissed the top of each breast before leaning backwards to look at me fully. His large hands came up, and slowly molded themselves around the bottom of my breasts, kneading them, his thumbs rubbing my nipples.

A clenching feeling tightened in my pelvis, and a gasp came unbidden from my lips. I was spiraling out of control, the heat of Jacobs touch and the desire racing through me was rocketing my arousal to heights I had never before felt. I knew I wouldn't stop him, and I knew he was not going to stop, that this was really happening, and that I couldn't wait for it any longer.

My arms reached out and pulled his head to my breast, and his mouth lowered onto my nipple, causing me to moan in delight. I felt Jacob lowering me back down onto the blanket, his enormous body alongside me, heating me.

His hot breath made me dizzy, and was heaven on my bare skin. His scent was all around me, driving me mad with desire for him, clouding my brain. His lips lingered momentarily brushing across my nipples, and then down my stomach. He pulled at the snap of my jeans, and slowly took them off me as I lifted my hips to help.

He pulled off my shoes, and then the jeans, leaving me clad only in my cotton underwear. I was aware enough of what was happening to realize I had worn a nice pair at least, white cotton with little cherries and pink bowties at my hips.

Jacob's eyes burned into mine, and then traveled along my body. "God, you are beautiful, Bells," he whispered, running his hands up and down the outside of my thighs. He pulled his shorts over his hips, and I looked down in shock to see that he had no underwear on, and that his penis was standing erect and stiff and jutting from his body proudly, enormous and hot. It was the most thrilling thing I had ever seen, and my thighs clenched with desire.

My face flamed hot, and I closed my eyes in embarrassment, only to hear him chuckle at my shyness. I cracked one eyelid to see him kneeling next to me, and then he lay his giant frame down beside me, dwarfing me. My pale skin looked so luminous against his russet body, the contrasts looking so _right_. I felt the glorious heat of his body against me then, and his hands were on my breasts and my tongue was in his mouth and all my thoughts were jumbled and crazy and I was spiraling higher and higher.

Jacob rolled me onto my side, and I felt his hands circling my thighs, running across the tops of my panties, and then along the bottom edges, everywhere but where I needed him most. He avoided the obvious damp spot that had formed in the middle, teasing around the edges and just shallowly dipping his fingertips under the edges. He would brush the side of my mound only, and he was driving me mad with want.

"Please, Jacob," I pleaded, my voice husky and deep and sounding foreign to me. With a smile and bright, shining eyes, he slowly lifted the top edge of the garment and lowered it slowly over my thighs and calves, and then reached down and lifted it clear of my feet. He looked upwards then, and it felt like his eyes were burning my flesh as they took in my pale, naked form. He was the first man to ever see my like this, and I was excited and nervous and clenching and needed his touch, his heat, his taste and needed it now.

Before I could feel any embarrassment from his hot gaze as he slowly lifted my thighs apart to stare hungrily at the juncture of my thighs, he was lying beside me and again crushed his mouth to mine. His hands were on me again, firm and almost bruising. They were hungry on my body, running down my spine and then across my backside, squeezing, rubbing, running up and down the backs of my thighs. My shyness and my nerves fell away, and I was lost in Jacob.

I was highly aroused, a throbbing building in my center as I ached for him. I needed more, and my gasps and moans were matched by Jake's. I let my hands run up and down his chest as he brought one of his hands around to my belly, and then slowly ran his fingers down past my hipbones, and to my center. He let his finger trail gently through my damp curls, and I gasped into his mouth when he rubbed down through my wetness, and back up, spreading my arousal to my most sensitive places. I spread my legs and bent my knees to give him better access, and let my own hands wander down to his waist. My journeying hand bumped into his erection, hot and hard against my wrist. I looked down, groaning at the beautiful sight of his manhood, red and stiff and jutting out from a tangle of dark curls.

I took a long look at him then, really appreciating the sight. Like everything else about Jacob, he was big. Really big. The girth of him was almost as the size of my wrist, and the length had to be almost nine or ten inches. His testicles, massive and almost hairless, hung down between the muscles of his upper thighs, like two billiard balls in a tight sack of skin. As I watched his swollen flesh, it twitched in anticipation of my touch, and a single drop of creamy wetness pooled at the purplish tip. I felt my own wetness dripping down my thighs. I reached for him then, thrilled that he was throbbing and hot and all for me.

As my hand wrapped around him, he moaned loudly into my shoulder, and gently bit down on the muscle between my neck and shoulder, and let his long finger slide gently into me, making me groan in delight.

At first our movements were frenzied and desperate. Stroking and pulling and rubbing. His fingers were hot fire in my body, and my hand was moving on him, up and down. He would groan loudly when I ran my thumb across his tip, or would reach down to cup his massive testicles, rolling them back and forth or gently tugging on them. I quickly learned what he liked, what felt good to him, as he similarly learned from me.

I was eager and hungry to explore every inch of skin, every muscle, every dip and curve. His body was a work of art, rivaling any male specimen I had ever seen. My lips were warm as they explored his neck as my hands moved along his chest, down his abdomen, around his waist and over his shoulders, rubbing, massaging, scratching.

I reached down behind him, running my hands along his perfect backside, his massive thighs, and his toned calves. I lovingly caressed every inch of Jacob, loving the feel of him under my hands and lips.

My hands stroked his erection again, moving slowly, rubbing the wetness at the tip around the swollen head. I kissed down his body, tasting his musky scent, feeling the heat on his skin, warming me. I kissed my way south, until I was at his waistline. Jacob was looking down at me with dark, hungry eyes, and I slowly reached out my tongue to taste the fluid pooling at his tip. He let out a load groan, as did I, marveling at the deliciously male flavor of him. Earthy and sweet and Jacob. I let my mouth engulf him, sucking him in as my hands continued to stroke what my mouth couldn't reach. I kept my eyes on his face, enjoying the hungriness of his gaze, taking him as deeply as I could, enjoying the feel of his hands in my hair, guiding my head back and forth as I sucked and licked him. I was rewarded with a few more delicious tastes of his fluids, and I suddenly wanted his release in my mouth. I wanted to drink it all.

My movements became faster, and I hollowed out my cheeks to give suction. I didn't have any clue what I was doing, but the movements seemed right, seemed natural. I could feel when Jacob enjoyed something I did, as his hips would thrust up, or his hands would guide my head faster. He seemed to like when I took him deep in my throat, and fondled his heavy testicles at the same time. I started tugging on them again, and they began tightening up in my hands as I sucked deeper and faster. His hips were lifting off the ground, and he was panting loudly. My own wetness increased, and I felt a deep ache in my core. I wanted him to find his release, badly, while I possessed him with my tongue and mouth and throat and hands.

Jacob suddenly pulled my head back, and off his throbbing flesh. He rolled me onto my back, roughly spreading my legs out beneath him. His hands and his lips left hardly an inch of my body untouched, an assault of heat and passion and fire. Gasping uncontrollably, I looked down to see his dark hair cradled between my thighs as his tongue sent tremors flashing through me that I had never felt before.

Sounds I didn't even know I could make were streaming from my mouth, and I was speaking in unintelligible grunts, meaningless syllables that tried to catch-up to my racing breath and express to him just how good it felt, how to never stop, how to give more, more, more. My belly tightened in knots, and suddenly I was trembling and clenching and then it all unwound as the biggest orgasm of my life crashed over me, roaring its way through me. I screamed Jacob's name, and other prayers, at the fire that coursed through my body. For several minutes, I fought to slow my reactions to the shivers he sent through my system.

Then, his soft lips were back on mine, telling me he loved me and how beautiful I was, as he wiped my sweaty hair out of my eyes. I was ragged, and elated, and my muscles had never felt more relaxed, but I needed more. I pulled him, willing him to lay down over me. I wasn't sure how much more I could take, and I wanted all of him, right now, and he felt my eagerness.

Jacob shifted his weight, lining himself up with my center. He dragged his erection up and down through my folds, causing us both to gasp at the sheer pleasure of it, before he looked at me and slowly eased himself into my body. Before he was even halfway inside me, the stretching and pulling and pressure were so intense that I felt myself shaking, little shocks of pleasure racing through me, his heat flash frying my nerves. I felt myself slowly stretching to accommodate his enormous erection, and he waited as I stretched around him, impossibly wide, as he sank deeper into my body, until our pubic curls were joined together, my short, wet brown ones now soaking his darker, coarser ones, turning them both the same dark color, and he was finally fully seated in me.

As his pelvis pressed down, the pressure on my most sensitive place caused another mini orgasm that shot through me, my muscles fluttering down on Jacob, and then everything loosened up with the flush of fresh wetness. As I gasped out my pleasure, he pulled back, pushed back in, then out, and then we were moving together, our bodies in a perfect rhythm, dancing to a tune that only we could hear.

The world narrowed down to Jacob and I, his beautiful face and warm smile drowning me in him. As we made love in our tiny secluded spot on First Beach, not far from our sacred tree, our eyes locked together as our hips moved as one, sharing our love and this moment with each other, to be remembered and cherished forever.

Though we both wanted it to last, we were both too far gone. Jacob began to pump into me faster, and I could no longer raise my hips to match his pace, so I submitted to the strength of his thrusts, spreading my legs as wide as they would go and wrapping my legs around his waist. His thrusting became more powerful, the sound of our flesh smacking together, chasing another orgasm as I began clenching around him, and he grunted out forcefully, yelling my name as he came inside me, grinding our pelvises together, and holding the moment as long as he could.

He collapsed on me, but shielded his full weight with his elbows. Our breaths slowed, and I felt his softening penis fall out of me, leaving me feeling suddenly empty. But then his lips were on mine, a soft kiss of love and adoration, and his warm body was pressed to me as he rolled us to the side. He smiled at me, a real Jacob smile that could always melt me, and I realized I had absolutely no regrets about sharing this with him.

* * *

**A/N - One more to go. More M next chapter (you didn't think they were done yet, did you?)**

** Hope you enjoyed it!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

* * *

I was resting quietly, my body tingling in a state of absolute relaxation. I was lying on my side with Jacob's warm body spooned behind me, as he traced lazy patterns on my hip and laid soft kisses on my shoulder and neck. I had pulled the edge of the blanket over myself, which mostly covered the front of my body; Jacob's enormous frame covered my entire back, warmer and more comfortable than any electric blanket could ever be. I listened to the peaceful sound of the waves crashing on the beach, and the sound of the wind as it whistled over the sand. The sun had retreated to a corner of the sky, a murky yellow ball moving behind the white clouds. I guessed that it was late afternoon, maybe around 4pm.

Dozens of thoughts ran through my head, but I couldn't focus on any of them; I was too blissed-out for serious thinking. Old memories flitted through my mind, images of people and places from my past. Happy and sad, fleeting and memorable; remembrances of childhood fancies, and dreams; illusions, and reality, choices made and paths not taken.

Eventually, though, these recollections were replaced by thoughts about my future, and the choices that had led me here today.

As the minutes ticked by, I wondered if Jacob was really going to be OK after this. That fear – and, of course, the fear of Edward's reaction if he found out about what I had done here today - were the only things that were detracting from my steady high. Never had I felt so relaxed, my muscles feeling stretchy and loose, my heart beating a slow, steady rhythm that I could feel resonating in my bones and sending my blood singing in my veins.

The only sounds coming from Jacob and I were the sounds of our breathing; my lighter breaths mixing with his huskier, heavier ones. The mingled harmony of our breathing was occasionally punctuated by the soft, smacking sounds of his lips when he kissed my neck and shoulders. His fingers never stopped their soothing, ticklish motion, tracing a line from my thigh up to my shoulder and back down.

Finally, he stopped his motions on my hip, and asked me, "Bella, what's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" His tone was light, sunny. The voice of _my _Jacob, that always made me smile.

Without turning my head, I thought about his question. When I finally answered him, I told him the truth."Lots of things actually. Things just keep going round in my head. Things about the future, and about the wedding, and my Dad, and you and the pack. About what a crazy year this has been, and about the people I probably won't ever see again." My voice grew quieter, and had a slight tremble to it. "And I am wondering if what we did today is really going to make it worse for you in the long run."

But Jacob just chuckled easily, dispelling my fears. "Trust me, Bells. This was exactly what I needed. I know now that I can let you go, and always have this memory for my own. So, thank you for this," he said earnestly, kissing the junction of my neck and shoulder with soft lips.

I turned my head, looking at him with hopeful eyes from just a few inches away. "Truly, Jacob? You will be OK?" My eyes darted back and forth between his: the close distance between our faces made it impossible to look at both of his eyes at once.

"Yes, Bella. I will be OK." He leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose, making me giggle. He chuckled back, and we were both soon laughing, the sound remarkably relaxed and carefree.

After we quieted down, I rolled to face him fully, pulling the blanket edge with me, so that even Jacob was now partly covered by the blanket. We snuggled under the it, our nakedness covered from the wind that had picked up under the late afternoon sun. We lay there quietly, Jacob's fingers again trailing aimlessly on top of the blanket, over my hip, and then up my side, until he was pushing stray hair back over my ear.

I was thoughtful for a moment, before asking him a question that I had been curious about, but which I was hesitant to ask. "Jacob? Can I ask you something?" My cheeks flushed, and, despite being naked under the blanket with him, I was still embarrassed.

"Well, you just did," he replied, smiling. "But yes, sure. What's up?"

I chewed my lip for a moment, before deciding to just blurt it out. "Well… have you ever been with someone before?" He raised an eyebrow at me, pulling his head back to get a full look at my face. I rushed out my next words. "I mean, how were you…well, you know… so good at everything?" My blush deepened, but I was very curious and didn't look away.

Jacob was surprised for a moment, his eyes opening a bit wider, before he let out a loud laugh. "Seriously Bells, why are you so embarrassed? I practically asked you the same question before." I realized he was right, and smiled at my silliness, shaking my head at myself.

He laughed again, and then looked at me for a long moment. "No Bella, I've never been with anyone before. You were my first. It was important for me, for my first to be with you. I've dreamed of it for months, how it would be," he answered honestly. His black eyes looked down at me with such openness and love.

I smiled at him, touched by his confession. "So you kind of had a game-plan, on what you would do and stuff?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Well, not so much a game-plan, but I did fantasize about doing different things with you, yes."

This surprised me, and my cheeks flamed hotter. "And did the reality match the fantasy?" I finally asked, shyly looking him in the eyes, my heart beating faster in my chest.

He let out a loud guffaw, his large frame shaking under the blanket. "Oh Bella, nothing could compare to the reality. Nothing could compare to the reality of _you_. This afternoon was the singe best experience of my life. Hands-down. No matter what happens in the future, I will always remember today, Bella."

Tears swam in my eyes at Jake's confession, and I nodded my head. "Me too, Jake. I'll always remember too," I whispered.

Jacob looked down lovingly into my eyes, and leaned in to give me a soft kiss on the lips. It was warm, and sweet, and loving.

When he pulled back, he smiled his signature, wolfy-smile at me again; the smile that would always make me happy to see. A happy Jacob usually meant a happy Bella. I knew this somewhere deep down in my soul.

And I knew I would miss him terribly when I was changed.

There was a long, comfortable silence, our eyes locked onto each other. "Jake? Do you think you will imprint?" I eventually asked. "Do you want to?"

Jacob's smile faded, and I immediately regretted asking him. "Sorry, Jake, don't… don't answer. It's OK. I…" he put a large finger over my lips, quieting me.

"Shhh, Bella. It's a fair question, and I've thought a lot about it." He turned contemplative for a moment, and turned his head slightly to look out at the ocean. "The truth is, I don't know. I always thought I never would. That I was so in love with you that it would be impossible to imprint." He paused for a minute, but I could tell he wasn't finished. "But maybe Sam thought the same thing about Leah. I don't know, I couldn't hear his thoughts back then, and when I finally joined the pack he was already imprinted on Emily." I contemplated this, thinking about the bond between Sam and Emily, and how devastating it must be for Leah to see their happiness every day.

Jacob looked back down at me, his eyes sad. "But I think, deep down, the reason I didn't imprint on you is because your heart was already given to another." He stared at me, unblinking, and I felt a tear trail down my cheek. "I asked the elders about that. And they all seemed to agree that there had never been a case of a wolf imprinting on someone if the woman was already in another committed relationship." He reached up to cup my face, wiping away my tears that had fallen.

I thought about what he just said. Was it possible that they were right? Was that why he didn't imprint on me? Because I was invariably committed to Edward?

With a shock, another thought occurred to me, and I was suddenly reliving the night when Edward called, and Jacob told him about the funeral. What if Edward had not called that night, and Jacob and I kissed? If I had made the decision to give him what was left of my heart, what then? Would he have imprinted on me if I had surrendered to his love? The thought pained me. We would never know.

The silence stretched between us, my tears eventually stopping. Jacob continued to watch me with his beautiful, dark eyes. "But once I leave here, then do you think you will imprint on someone?" I finally asked in a soft voice.

I could see him rolling the idea around in his head, before he let out a loud sigh. "I don't know. I can't let it rule my life." He shook his head, and then looked down at me and smiled, the sun back in his eyes. His smile returned, wide and bright and warm. "Whoever she might be," he said, "She is going to have one hell of a time surpassing the memory of you, I can tell you that."

"Jake…" I trailed off, embarrassed.

"No, Bella, I mean it. One thing I completely agree with your bloods…I mean Edward… about is that you really don't see yourself clearly at all. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. You are loving, and warm, and totally considerate of other people's feelings. You don't make a big deal of most things, you are open-minded, and you have some inner-light about you that makes people love you and want to protect you."

I blushed under his words, feeling my cheeks go hot. He noticed, and raised his thumb up to my cheek, a mischievous grin forming on his face. "And you are hot and passionate and sexy as fuck, especially without any clothes on. And you make the most amazing noises when you orgasm."

His grin was a mile wide, and he laughed at my mortified expression. "JAKE!" I yelled, slapping him on the arm. I tugged on the blanket, trying to pull it up to my neck and cover myself completely.

He was laughing now, and with almost no effort pulled the blanket out of my hands and off me, leaving me stark naked and on my butt and my hands grasping at the blanket. "Give me that, Jake!"

"No way, Bella! The view is much better this way!" he laughed, keeping it out my reach. I started to rise up to get the blanket, but he pulled me back down effortlessly, making me squeal. "Stay put, Bells. There is still plenty of daylight left," he said with a husky voice, his eyes tracing over my naked flesh.

As if his gaze lit a match under my skin, everything flared in my body at once. He pulled me down on top of him, and I went, willingly, our mouths coming together and tongues intertwining, my pelvis settling on his stomach. I could feel him hardening against my butt, and I rocked backwards against him, making us both moan when his tip rubbed along my bottom and along my dampening folds.

He kissed me deeply, our tongues tasting and dancing: erotic motions that sent chills through my body. I thought my heart might burst from my chest it was beating so hard. We clung to each other with new hunger, our bodies moving in new ways. Jacob took no caution with me this time, and I none with him. We had this one moment left, and we dived into our lovemaking with renewed enthusiasm.. I clung to Jacob with desperate strength, shivers racing through me.

Neither of us wanted to rush, but we could not hold back. He entered me, filling me completely, his heat coursing through me as we moved together as one, like our souls were intertwined. We made love again, in new ways. Me on his lap; me on my back with my legs over his shoulders; our bodies side by side with our heads laying against the sand and our fingers intertwined as we watched each other move, creating new angles for delicious friction.

All the myriad ways we could show our love and share our passion, as we came together again and again and chased the setting sun.

After my third or fourth orgasm, my body covered in sweat and tremors still rocking through me, Jacob rolled me onto my stomach and pulled my butt up against him. I was on my hands and knees, and looked back over my shoulder at him with a questioning smile. He gave me a toothy grin, and laughed. "You know we have to do doggie style at least once, Bells."

My sarcastic response was swallowed as he sheathed himself in me in one smooth motion, my walls wet and slick with our combined fluids. He moved powerfully, the sounds of our flesh smacking together echoing loudly off the rocks.

I was racing towards my peak, enjoying the amazing friction and powerful sensation this new position created along the top of my walls. Jacob seemed to be enjoying it too, if his groans and curses were anything to go by. "Fuck, Bells, I wish you could see this, see what it looks like while I slide in and out. It's so fucking hot," he grunted, his words making me hotter. He picked-up his pace, sending me right over the edge. My tired but willing muscles clamped down on him again, milking his release from him. He collapsed down on me, shielding me from his full weight with his elbows. He was sweaty, and smelled delicious, his musky odor mixing with the scent of our lovemaking.

After resting for a short while, talking about silly things, the passion built again, slowly but surely, until we again were stroking each other, and he was positioning himself over my exhausted body, his wolf stamina keeping him going as he slid home into my waiting embrace.

Our last time was slow, and sweet, as Jacob slowly pumped into my tired but still aroused body, eyes locked on mine, my arms crossed behind his neck. We continued like this for some time, neither one of us speaking, until the pressure grew and grew and we were spiraling off again, together. Everything unclenched, and I whispered his name as I climaxed, my sore and achy muscles clenching down hard on him. He grunted as he released deep into me, never taking his eyes off mine as we slowly descended from our peak.

When we finished, Jacob didn't move, still buried within my body. He looked deep into my eyes, and moved a stray hair off my face with his hand.

"I love you, Bella. I always will."

* * *

**A/N - Whew, ok. Now I can go work on my other story for a while. They needed this though. I wish my own muscles were as loose and 'stringy.' ;**


	4. Chapter 4

**Goodbye to My Wolf**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Jacob eventually rolled to my side, and we cuddled together under the edges of our blanket, chatting quietly about silly nothings for the remainder of the afternoon.

I laughed quietly as he recounted some of my more classic 'Bella moments': the phrase he had coined for when my clumsiness got the better of me. I particularly enjoyed hearing him tell me about our mud-pie fights when we were younger, and I smiled as his face lit-up with joy as we remembered together.

Finally, though, I knew it was time to leave, and I reached over for my clothes, suddenly feeling shy. Jacob watched me with an amused look in his eyes; with a huff I sat up on my knees with my back to him, and pulled on my underwear and bra.

When I stood-up to pull on my jeans and shirt, Jacob rose as well, and again I could not help but admire his superbly toned body. His legs were so long that his hips were about the same height as my chest, and the late afternoon sun shining on his tanned skin made him look like some olympic God of legend.

My gaze could not help but travel the length of his body, and my cheeks felt hot when they traveled down to his waistline area. His manhood - still large despite it's now semi-flaccid state - made me flush with desire with its beyond-pornographic beauty.

He caught me staring as he lifted up his pants, and smiled cheekily at me. I blushed, and he laughed loudly. "Getting a last look, Bella? That's OK, I did the same," he chuckled.

I turned my head, my face heating to the tips of my ears, and finished getting dressed with shaking hands. I brushed the sand off my clothes, and shook my hair out a few times to get the worst of the grains out. I knew I would need a shower anyway, but now I didn't feel like my head was a sandbox.

Jacob smiled at me, and taking my hand he led us out of our little nook, and back towards our special tree on the beach. We both stopped, letting this poignant moment flow over us. I didn't know if we would ever stand together by this tree again, but it would always rank high in my most special memories. Here it was where I first learned of Edward's true nature, of mythical creatures and age-old treaties, and it was here that I first decided I liked the fifteen-year old boy named Jacob Black.

Jacob's thoughts were apparently running along the same direction as mine, and he gave my hand a squeeze, pulling me down to sit on the tree next to him. "We've come a long way since last year, haven't we?"

I nodded at him, looking out at the sparkling surface of the Pacific. If I looked far out to the horizon and let my eyes wander along its expanse, I could just make out the curvature of the Earth's surface. The effect was subtle, but real.

With our hands gripped tightly between us, resting on the weathered tree, Jacob and I stared quietly out at neverending sea, neither of us wanting this moment to end.

The reflected sunlight looked like shiny pennies sparkling on the ocean's crenellated surface, and the whitecaps were spraying sea-foam into the wind. Tiny rainbows sprang up on occasion; prismatic reflections from the water droplets that spread from the crashing waves.

The only sounds I could hear was the swooshing of the surf breaking on the beach, the whisper of the wind, and the distant cries of the gulls. It was an idyllic setting, and my chest felt heavy at the thought that this was all going away; that I might never again sit here, in this spot, with Jacob Black. That thought weighed heavily on me as we watched the sunset in the western sky.

We sat for many minutes, as the blazing yellow and oranges of the setting-sun began to dip below the edge of the world, and the sky turned from the lightest blue to a mixture of reds and purples and violets, growing ever darker as the sun continued its inexorable descent beyond our line of vision, and the colors of the day faded around us.

When the sun finally dipped below the horizon, a lone gull's cry rang-out, shattering me from my reverie.

It was twilight. The time where light turned to darkness.

The safest time of day, claimed my vampire fiance.

At that moment, I agreed with him. I felt calm, and relaxed, and happy. Safe. I looked at Jacob, and his eyes met mine, and I knew he felt the same. And when his radiant smile and sunny eyes lit up his face, visible to my weak human vision even in the fading light, I knew it was going to be all-right.

I leaned into his massive frame and hugged him tightly. "I love you Jacob Black. And I always will," I said quietly.

"And I love you, Isabella Swan. And I always will," he answered.

Nothing more was said. Nothing needed to be.

* * *

Jacob walked me back to his house, our hands clenched tightly together and our arms swinging between us. He whistled a strangely melodic tune that I didn't recognize but that sounded like Indian folk-music, and his sometimes off-key harmonies sounding somehow fitting.

Wasn't that a good metaphor for our relationship? I smiled at the thought, and when Jacob saw me grinning, he turned his eyes to me without stopping his soft whistling, but I could see, even in the fading light, the love and adoration that he held for me.

I was sure my eyes said the same to him.

When we reached the door to his garage, where his finished Rabbit convertible was waiting for us, I turned to Jacob. "Well, here we are," I said, craning my neck upwards to see his face one last time.

Even in the semi-darkness, the whites of his teeth were shining. "Here we are," he echoed, his voice soft and husky.

"I'll miss you, Jake," I whispered.

"I know. And I'll miss you, Bells."

He opened his arms to embrace me, and I stepped into the circle of them, resting my cheek against his chest as he hugged my body close. The sound of his heart beating against the side of my face soothed me, and I felt a tear slide down my cheek and trap itself against his skin. I felt the gentle thrum-thrum of his heart in my ear and in my soul, and I closed my eyes, trying to memorize the sound.

I wanted to remember it forever, and let it calm me when I was afraid.

My own personal sun. Always there to warm me and light-me-up inside. Always ready to hold-off the dark.

"You will always know where to find me, Bella," he said, his voice quiet. "I'll always be here. And if you ever need anything, let me know, and I will find a way to help you. Always."

I sniffled, my tears falling freely now, dripping down the sides of my face. My arms tightened around Jacob, and I pulled him to me with all the feeble strength my human body could muster.

I was going to miss this, miss him. How could I ever have been so blessed to have the love of not one, but two, amazing and mythical beings like Jacob and Edward?

Why had I been so lucky?

And why, oh why, did I have to choose? How does a mortal woman choose between a God of Fire and a God of Ice?

Jacob sensed my reluctance to release him, but after a few minutes I felt him gently unwind my arms from his waist. It was dark now, and the sounds of crickets and the hooting of owls echoed in the forest around us. "Come on, Bells, let me take you home," he said gently.

I stepped back from him, wiping my nose with the back of my hand, and nodded. He opened the passenger door for me, and I sat down in the Rabbit, staring out into the darkness of La Push, for maybe the last time in my life.

And then we were driving off, our hands held tightly between the seats, as Jacob drove me back to Charlie's, where I would wait patiently for my Edward to come to me.

To a destiny that, at that moment, somehow didn't seem as real to me as the hand I clutched to me with all the strength in my body.

* * *

**A/N - Maybe one more chapter, not sure yet ... this story gets written as the mood strikes, and even I don't know where it is going. It was supposed to be a short one-shot, but it doesn't want to lay down and rest yet.**


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